I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
