What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm both gender and math confused
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize