What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
