and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
