you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
