Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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