im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
