no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
