I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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