Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she told me i tasted like america
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
