90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize