My hand turned me down
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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