dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Farmville is her only friend.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
