Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
