I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
