Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
