adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found a bag of teeth...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
