LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
im on a boat
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