why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
