Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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