Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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