anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
