So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
