I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
