yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
