sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Little spoons don't ask big questions
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The power of my boobs compel you
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
