I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
