you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize