Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
