So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
