That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
