hotel room ftw
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
