I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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