Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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