Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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