So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
