It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
