yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
