She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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