I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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