Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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