it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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