my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
