Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
