I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize