Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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