Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize