once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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