At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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