Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
