it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
