I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
