But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
