I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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