Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
