Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
