I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
