Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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