Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
