I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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