He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
why is half of my head shaved?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
