The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
