How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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