Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
